love, life, and loss
Love from Grief
"Without love, every music is noise, every dance is madness, and every worship is a burden" -Rumi
The day the church door was shut, I sat outside the gate and wept. I had been coming here to pray. The little sanctuary inside St. Mary's church had comforted me as cancer tore into the heart of my Dada. Inside that church, I had prayed, sang, worshipped, lamented, cried, and given thanks.
Medical intervention had been extraordinary; we as a family dared to be hopeful, and I, in particular, dreamt Dada would ring that bell - Cancer free. Will he?
But days turned into months and months into many months. On days it gets overwhelming, I find myself in church. Imagine the burden my heart was when the church's door was closed, not just to me but to every parishioner who had worshipped at the church of St. Mary's.
My beaten faith took even more beating; for a moment, I wondered if God's mercy had also been shut against us and if COVID was the new Lord. I had found solace in the church as Dada went in and out of Chemo. The Priest talked about God's love, a love so strong that he gave his only begotten son to redeem humanity.
While I do not fully understand God's love, I like the thought of someone above caring for me that much. If that is love, I want it and yearn…
